Ah, ghosting—one of modern dating’s most infuriating quirks. If you’ve been on the dating scene lately, chances are you’ve encountered it or know someone who has. One minute you’re exchanging texts and imagining your future together, and the next? Poof. They’re gone. Like a puff of smoke in the wind. It leaves you questioning your judgment and wondering if they were even real to begin with.  

But why has ghosting become so common? What’s going through the mind of someone who ghosts? And, most importantly, how do you cope when you’re left in a fog of unanswered questions and unread messages? Let’s break it down.  

Why Ghosting Happens 

First, let’s understand why someone might pull the disappearing act. While it feels personal, it often has more to do with them than with you. Here are a few of the usual suspects:  

1. Conflict Avoidance  

Let’s be honest—breaking things off is uncomfortable. Some people would rather vanish than face the awkwardness of saying, “This isn’t working for me.” Ghosting is the coward’s way out, plain and simple.  

2. Technology Makes It Too Easy 

Dating apps and social media have turned romance into a bit of a buffet. With so many options at their fingertips, some people develop a “grass is greener” mentality and jump ship the moment they think they’ve found someone “better.”  

3. Fear of Rejection 

Ironically, ghosters often fear rejection themselves. They might bail preemptively to avoid a situation where they feel vulnerable or judged.  

4. Emotional Unavailability  

Sometimes, the ghoster isn’t ready for a relationship but didn’t realise it until they were already in too deep. Rather than confront their own emotional shortcomings, they vanish into thin air.  

What’s Going On in a Ghoster’s Head?  

It’s easy to paint ghosters as villains (and let’s be real, they’re not exactly heroes), but there’s often a lot going on behind the scenes.  

1. Guilt  

Believe it or not, many ghosters feel guilty about their actions. They know it’s wrong, but instead of making amends, they bury their heads in the sand.  

2. Anxiety  

Some people ghost because they’re riddled with anxiety. The thought of having an uncomfortable conversation is too much, so they take the “easy” way out—although, let’s face it, it’s only easy for them.  

3. Cognitive Dissonance  

To cope with their behaviour, ghosters might justify it to themselves. “Oh, they’ll be fine,” or “It’s not like we were that serious.” It’s mental gymnastics at its finest.  

4. Emotional Detachment  

Then there are the truly unbothered ones—those who ghost without a second thought. They’re emotionally detached or simply lack empathy, and quite frankly, you’re better off without them.  

The Impact on the Ghostee  

So what about the poor souls left in the lurch? Ghosting isn’t just frustrating—it can have a real emotional toll.  

1. Self-Doubt 

It’s natural to replay every conversation, wondering where you went wrong. Spoiler alert: the issue is rarely you.  

2. Loss of Trust  

Being ghosted can make you wary of future relationships. It’s hard to open up when you’re half-expecting someone to vanish at any moment.  

3. Emotional Distress  

Feelings of rejection, sadness, and even anger are par for the course. And if ghosting triggers old wounds, it can feel like pouring salt in them.  

4. Frustration

Perhaps the most maddening part of ghosting is the lack of closure. You’re left with questions, but no answers. It’s like trying to finish a puzzle with missing pieces.  

Red Flags: How to Spot a Potential Ghoster  

While there’s no surefire way to predict who might ghost, a few warning signs can help:  

1. Inconsistent Communication 

If they’re hot one minute and cold the next, it could mean they’re not fully invested.  

2. Avoidance of Deep Conversations 

If they shy away from meaningful discussions, they might not be emotionally ready for a relationship.  

3. A History of Flakiness  

If they casually mention ghosting others or seem to have a revolving door of relationships, take note.  

4. Lack of Empathy  

If they seem indifferent to other people’s feelings, don’t expect them to handle yours with care.  

How to Handle Being Ghosted  

Now for the important part—what do you do when someone ghosts you? Here are some practical (and a few unconventional) strategies:  

1. Accept It  

It’s painful, but the first step is acceptance. Their disappearance says more about them than about you.  

2. Don’t Chase  

As tempting as it is to demand answers, resist the urge. Closure from a ghoster is a rare gift, and you’ll find more peace by moving forward.  

3. Focus on You  

Redirect your energy into something fulfilling—whether it’s a new hobby, quality time with friends, or a good old pampering session.  

4. Do a Digital Cleanse  

Delete their number, unfollow them on social media, and, if you’re feeling fancy, write an unsent letter to purge your feelings. It’s oddly therapeutic.  

5. Seek Support 

Talk to trusted friends or even a therapist. Sharing your experience can help you feel less alone and more empowered.  

Final Thoughts: Turning Ghosting Into a Lesson 

Ghosting may be a frustrating hallmark of modern dating, but it doesn’t have to haunt you. Instead of dwelling on the what-ifs, use the experience as a reminder of what you deserve—respect, honesty, and real communication.  

So, here’s to moving on with grace, reclaiming your power, and maybe having a cheeky laugh about it with your mates. After all, you’re far too fabulous to waste time on someone who couldn’t even muster a goodbye.  

Have you ever been ghosted? Or, dare I ask, have you ghosted someone? Let’s chat about it below—I promise I won’t vanish mid-conversation!